Rectification #2

On my very humble journey towards التزام or تدين -whichever you want to call it-, I initially thought that one reaches a point and that’s the highest level of it, and you just stay there, you don’t go back down. And my aim was reaching the highest level and then I could relax for good. On this journey, I realised it isn’t what I thought it was. It isn’t this easy. The journey is more like a roller coaster, only slower, much slower. You don’t realise your Iman has gone high until after weeks, even several months of hard work and Duaa, and the worst part is realising when your Iman has gone low, after neglecting Dhikr several times here and there.

This journey is also longer than I thought it was going to be. Striving for the sake of Allaah actually never ends, unless you want it to. To be honest, giving up is so much easier than holding on, but whoever has actually tasted the sweetness of being closer to Allaah and fully depending on Him rather than people wouldn’t want to give up, ever. And it is sometimes hard to explain this to people. It is hard to tell someone to just surrender to God, to leave certain people behind, turn that page, and start a new one with the guide of God.

One of the main factors that I found plays an extremely important role on this journey, is one’s environment. It is hard to hold on alone, but it is even harder and it is easier to relapse when you surround yourself by all the wrong people. I am not saying one should go and change the group of friends they have all at once, because humbling yourself to people is also another important factor on this journey. What I’m trying to say is, if you think your group isn’t helping, you can always distance yourself a bit, and not always be available around. Making Duaa for a righteous company is also another solution.

I realised that taking slow baby steps and giving yourself the time to heal from your heart’s attachments, is so much more fruitful than pretending  that you’re fine, that you’re there and that you don’t need to put anymore effort to get closer to God.

One thing that has helped and impacted my journey A LOT, is my werd. You just find at the very least one verse in your daily werd speaking to you, and this is what I hold on to. In one of my latest werds, I came across this verse. This verse actually explains it all, when Allaah is the نور of your life, your heart, and your being, your whole life lightens, and you’ll realise the big difference on your low Iman days, all you’ll crave is to go back up, but you know it isn’t that easy and you have to work your way up once again.

Health

Since I started praying on a regular basis a few years ago and up to now, one bless I haven’t thought much about and thanked God for it, is my health. And like it’s always said that one does not know the value of a thing unless it’s gone, literally, I did not know that being able to actually pray and not feel pain during Ruko’ or Sujood was a great bless.

Now that I get frequent breathing issues -nothing serious-, I find difficulties in making Sujood and breathing like normal people. And I hate it. I hate not being able to go back to being at complete ease bending down and letting my heart speak out to God. And what I hate most, is not realising this gift and thanking God when I had it.

قال تعالى : وإن تعدوا نعمة الله لا تحصوها

When a particular gift is always there, we think, or actually we don’t, we don’t notice it’s presence, and it becomes obvious to us that it’s permanent, and then comes a test, from God, reminding us, that it’s not. And the saddest part is, I found myself disgruntled doing the least of the عبادات just because I can’t get myself to suffer in doing them a bit.

Honestly, I sat down and tried to think about the gifts I forget to thank God for, and I couldn’t narrow them down to a countable number. Starting with health, family, home, education, Deen, shelter, food, etc, etc… لا تحصوها

رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاه

Rectification

I have always wanted someone/ something to hold on to, to feel alive, and happy and be able go on with my life. Once this someone/something is gone, I feel so empty and useless. I used to use people to fill my emptiness. But people come and go so quickly before I can even notice my reliance on them, and their presence.

I decided I wanted something that I’d do for me, to fill this emptiness, not people, just something I can hold on to. I developed this love for studies, more of extra care about what I do. A care to the point of extreme disappointment if I can’t perfect it. That kind of care filled me to the point that I can withdraw from all other activities because that is all I have.

It wasn’t just studies, but books in general. I discovered my passion of wanting to know the details. I’m never satisfied with the headlines. If I’ll have to study something, I can’t just know the “headlines”; I’d search for the little details about it. If I started a book, and I don’t like it, I won’t just let it down, I feel committed to end it.

It’s the one thing that hadn’t let me down. My time away, and alone taught me a lot about people but more about myself. I think, everyone deserves to have their alone time to discover themselves, to dig for the unknown passions. They might be really weird, but at least you’ll be yourself doing something you can safely lose yourself doing it.

Al-Baqarah’s inspiration: #1

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

ذَلِكَ الْكِتَابُ لاَ رَيْبَ فِيهِ هُدًى لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ 

الَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْغَيْبِ وَيُقِيمُونَ الصَّلاةَ وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَاهُمْ يُنفِقُونَ

 

 

When you first read something, just for the sake of reading, then “accidentally” what you read passes through your brain and ignites something.. You stop for a while, then you go back and read it again. That’s exactly what happened when I first read this verse, not the whole verse but الَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِالْغَيْبِ . Allaah basically defines “Al-Muttaqin” from the previous verse to -from my little knowledge, and own translation- be those who have faith in the unknown.

 

This ignition occurs when you read something that you can relate to, it definitely links to something else in your real life, something you’ve been thinking about, a lot. When I read this, the very first thing that popped up in my head was college. As a freshman this coming year, I worry about that a lot.

 

It seems like  Allaah has directed me to this part of the verse in such a perfect timing! It’s like He was telling me not to worry, and to have faith in Him. It might be such a ridiculous matter to connect it to such a deep verse from the Qur’an, but to someone who worries a lot, it meant something, something huge, something satisfying, and comforting. Alhamdu l Allaah for such a beautiful guidance.

A Change of Heart

They always say “Love what you do, to do what you love” and there’s an awesome piece of wisdom behind the quote being written in this arrangement and not the other way around.

I have always wanted to study engineering, chemical engineering to be specific. Unfortunately, it wasn’t destined for me to study it, at least for the time being. So I had to have a backup plan and study something else, at least for the time being as well.

The closest to chemical engineering is pharmacy, and I have never imagined myself studying that. What will my career be then? You know Arabs’ idea of pharmacy.. But after thinking it through, I actually liked it, and have gone behind thinking of it as demeaning myself.

You see, you do not always do what you love, but you can love what you do and hence do what you love! If I were to stick with chemical engineering, I would have never known the real meaning behind this saying.

Build yourself a second life

Our peers have become little icons on the screen that you randomly click on to check up on them. And I bet the conversation barely lasts for 15 minutes. These shallow relationships are a social networking’s curse. Not only that, but over the 4 hours that we may consume of your day on social networks, most of them are wasted on just scrolling up and down. This is because we do not have any sense of responsibility over our time. Look at how you spent your day yesterday.. Facebook, Twitter, back to Facebook, replying to that WhatsApp message, a movie here, one video there.. How do we even consider this a life worth looking back at? This meaningless life often causes depression, why wouldn’t it? We literally are living for the nothingness that these social networks offer.

Keep in mind that social networks are supposed to be used during your leisure time, and not the other way around. So you must have a second life, outside social networks. Plan your day, and occupy yourself with something useful that’ll actually keep you away from tossing your time around. And do not use the “I’m still in summer vacation” excuse, there is a lot to be accomplished even in your vacation if you really want to come out of it with something.

Build a social life outside your computer, go meet friends instead of chat with them because actual face-to-face conversations deepen relationships. And if all these fail, go volunteer yourself and make someone happy, because making people happy actually comes back and make you the happiest. Share your good vibes with others, instead of texting your best friend a good morning, call them and plan to have breakfast together.

You see, all these will make your life worth living for. You’ll look forward to planning your day, and accomplishing what you planned. You’ll love seeing a smile on people’s faces and knowing you’re the reason they’re smiling. You’ll build character through meeting people, and you’ll know how to instantly deal with them. Unlike those who spend most time in front of a screen, and you’ll know when you meet them, they do not have the required self-esteem to share in a real-life conversation.

If you’re already doing this, then congrats, you’re actually living for something. 🙂

A Wake Up Call

The Arab world has gone through a disastrous time the past couple of years, and it breaks my heart to say that there is not a single improvement in our state since 2011.. I fear it’s never going to, and we’ll live in this shame till our last day. First Palestine a long time ago, and we agreed that Duaa will be enough for us. Our Iraq and Syria are done. And Egypt has lost many innocent souls already. And not a single step is taken from our shameless Gulf states, and I do not think they have any plans of intervening.

While all this has happened, it’s embarrassing but I should mention that Arab Idol has launched their second season with many viewers, and it is worth mentioning that this show succeeded using “OUR” money through voting.. Arabs Got Talent is about to start in a few days, and it’s even more embarrassing to say that Arabs can’t wait till it starts! I think if these senseless shows payed half what they profit from “US” to build what we’ve lost in our Arab lands, but no, do you know who profits? I think you do know this very well..

I think it’s time we use our youth and money in something more useful than helping candidates win being the so-called “Idol”. I want to start a hash-tag on Twitter that states #BoyCottArabsGotTalent and the same one on Facebook. I hope I can find many heart ached audience like me to spread the idea. If we can take this crap down, I think we, Arabs, will gain some of our long lost dignity back! Please, I’m asking you to support this for our Ummah, and purify your Neyya “intention” to do it for Allaah, alone.

Jazakom Allaah khayraan.

Inspiration for Change

We often go through times when we’re just disgusted from our daily routine, we lose interest in everything and start postponing today’s work to tomorrow. Can you relate to me? We do not search for the cause of this, our mind is too focused on our current state moving towards depression, and we do not try to find a way out.

This is more common among IGCSE students. The 3 years of constant studying, the 5 sessions, one after the other, which means we do not get much of a summer vacation like other normal high school students. I bet many of us went through days of constant tutoring! It is so easy to get caught up in all this, to look at it as a heavy rock on your shoulders. Many students spend their 3 years just worrying and planning without any actual work being done.

This happens when we look at it as a job to be fulfilled for our parents, when it’s actually the total opposite! Remember those big dreams, and awesome career you dreamt of? Well, they start now! Those 3 years are a baby steps to fulfilling them. Lighten up! Your hard work, isn’t just going to be letters on your certificate, you’re starting your big dreams within them,

It’s time to go back as motivated and encouraged.. Switch up your day a little. Take a break, a day at least. Do things you wanted to do, but postponed because of a chapter or a tuition you had to be done with.  Add up activities, simple ones, even if they’re to be done from home! Look at anything inspirational, read about a successful person, how did he do it, listen to TEDxTalks, or just inspirational music, or even quotes. Those little things -believe me- make the biggest difference in one’s life.

Quit planning already! “A year from now you’ll wish you’d have started today” Start working, make it a habit of ticking up all of your days’ to do list, and REWARD YOURSELF! Instead of watching whatever series or movie first, do the opposite, say that if you’re going to be done with this chapter -for example- you’re going to watch it as reward! 🙂

I deeply hope some of you will benefit from this, and good luck to all of us! 🙂

A taste of Death

I think all believers have this feeling that they’re never ready for death, just not yet. We always want to become better Muslims, want to get up with this Ummah to the better. Some of us want to get old and have a career; so they can do something to help Arab countries under attack -which are increasing everyday-. I can’t help but think, what if our time comes before fulfilling all those dreams we’re planning for the Ummah?

 

Think about it, think about it again, imagine your last breath now, are you ready? Well planning for the Ummah isn’t enough, remember that the first thing we’ll asked about is what did we do with our life? Will planning for the future be a good answer? I don’t think so. 

 

I’ve had a couple of hard days recently, and I can’t help but think what if my time comes, will answering my Lord with “I had bad days” be enough? And I came across this “و استعينوا بالصبر و الصلاة و انها لكبيرة الا على الخاشعين”, I felt like that last part of the ayah is a challenge, that patience and prayer wouldn’t be enough for us, unless we’re true believers. 

 

After thinking that this day might be my last, I read my sleeping prayers completely, and I never do that. I forgave everyone who wronged me, I even forgot the reason behind my depression those couple of days. This is what happens when you think wholeheartedly that this might be your last night.

 

Alhamdulelaah. I got a new day. I could do more than just planning. I could start from now. I could better myself, and do lots of Du’aa, so that my future plans -if I lived till then- be accomplished in the best way. I could do lots and lots of Thikr, which would add up in my good deeds preparing for if my time comes now. I could forgive people who wronged me. I could do what this ayah says “ادفع بالتي هي أحسن” and start talking to friends whom I had a silly fight with. 

 

When you think about it, nothing and absolutely nothing, is worth being sad about in this temporary world. Let’s plan for our Akhirah, starting now. Let’s educate ourselves about our Deen, which would help us in our future plans, Insha’Allah.

Do Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God?

I really really like this one! (: